I have read this lovely piece several times, and I understand it up to "Both legs carried him with grace." I am confused by what follows. Please help me out here, Sue, if you will.
I describe my high school friend as having lost a leg in Vietnam. At the point where the man in Mr. Toots walks across the room on both legs with grace, that's the moment the narrator pops into the present from her reverie about the past. She's just moved to a new place and is disoriented when she sees a man who looks or reminds her on her past life which she left only weeks before this incident. The man isn't Jim, it's David Crosby, who sits in the quiet corner hoping to god that he can drink his coffee in piece and anonimity.
I hope this clarifies the story here. Was it too much of a jump from one reality to another? That's the writer's dilemma. The experience is clear in the writer's mind, but how they portray is in words is lost or confusing to the reader. Thank you for your input. I get caught in this clarity trap all the time.
Thanks for this! I couldn't sort it out ,and I really wanted to understand it. As you say, we writers always have such a clear mental image of what we write about, but our readers may struggle with it. Happens to me all the time. Fortunately, whenever I am not sure if I am too obscure, I have a friend who reads the draft cold and tells me what he thinks. He has saved me many times. Thank goodness Substack let's me go back in and edit even after posting.
Critique groups are essential and I had a couple of them in Truckee. It's been years since I've found a good group of experienced writers who can help. It's time to find someone. Thank you.
Experienced writers would be good, but you know I am guessing most of our readers are not writers, and their perception is really valuable, too, pre posting.
You're right. Pros would have different expectations than non-writers, too, which would be a huge benefit. I just wish readers would comment more. Our conversations have really been enlightening as well as friendly. A real connection.
I just came back to this lovely poem. Maybe I didn't mention it, but I spent a lot of time in Mr Toots, reading. drinking too much coffee. I remember well the top of the stairs, popping up and looking around to see how crowded it was before entering. Thanks for the memory.
I have read this lovely piece several times, and I understand it up to "Both legs carried him with grace." I am confused by what follows. Please help me out here, Sue, if you will.
Uh-oh! I'll explain if I can.
I describe my high school friend as having lost a leg in Vietnam. At the point where the man in Mr. Toots walks across the room on both legs with grace, that's the moment the narrator pops into the present from her reverie about the past. She's just moved to a new place and is disoriented when she sees a man who looks or reminds her on her past life which she left only weeks before this incident. The man isn't Jim, it's David Crosby, who sits in the quiet corner hoping to god that he can drink his coffee in piece and anonimity.
I hope this clarifies the story here. Was it too much of a jump from one reality to another? That's the writer's dilemma. The experience is clear in the writer's mind, but how they portray is in words is lost or confusing to the reader. Thank you for your input. I get caught in this clarity trap all the time.
Thanks for this! I couldn't sort it out ,and I really wanted to understand it. As you say, we writers always have such a clear mental image of what we write about, but our readers may struggle with it. Happens to me all the time. Fortunately, whenever I am not sure if I am too obscure, I have a friend who reads the draft cold and tells me what he thinks. He has saved me many times. Thank goodness Substack let's me go back in and edit even after posting.
Critique groups are essential and I had a couple of them in Truckee. It's been years since I've found a good group of experienced writers who can help. It's time to find someone. Thank you.
Experienced writers would be good, but you know I am guessing most of our readers are not writers, and their perception is really valuable, too, pre posting.
You're right. Pros would have different expectations than non-writers, too, which would be a huge benefit. I just wish readers would comment more. Our conversations have really been enlightening as well as friendly. A real connection.
I just came back to this lovely poem. Maybe I didn't mention it, but I spent a lot of time in Mr Toots, reading. drinking too much coffee. I remember well the top of the stairs, popping up and looking around to see how crowded it was before entering. Thanks for the memory.