Silent Keys: Chapter Nine

Don Wilkins was the kind of man who needed to control everything, even the death of his wife, Livi. It didn't quite work out the way he had so carefully planned.

Voices. Carol's voice. Was he dreaming? He'd been thinking of that day she left for Idaho. Was this more of the dream?

"Officer, I've come with papers from my attorney so I can take my father off of life support.  Why can't you allow me to do that?"

"Miss, I'm sorry, but the DA has given me explicit orders not to allow anything that would cause the death of this patient."

"But why? He's already dying. I've already talked to the physician in charge and the head nurse. They agree that as his next of kin, I have the right to take him off life support."

"Ma'am, I really don't care what kind of papers you have or what the doctor here says. The County DA and his consulting psychiatrist insist this patient is mentally fit to stand trial for his crime. When he recovers, he'll be tried for murder."

"Murder! But …."

Don's eyes focused enough so he could see Carol shaking something in the man's face. "Look at this letter my father sent me. I just received it day before yesterday. It tells all about a suicide pact my parents made a year ago when my mother was diagnosed with dementia.  She was still cogent when they made that agreement. She wasn't forced into it. So she wasn't murdered.

"I rushed down here as fast as I could to stop it. He was also going to kill himself. It was a pact. It says so right here in this letter."

"I'm sorry, Miss …."

"I am not a miss. I'm a married woman and I have a legal right to remove my father from life support."

"You'll have to talk to the DA about that. Meanwhile, I'm just doing my job here, ma'am. As long as your father remains alive, he's still subject to the law."

Carol cried with exasperation. "Yeah, I understand. You're just doing your friggin' job. Just a lock-step Nazi. Well, the DA doesn't know who he's dealing with and neither do you. My attorney's a barracuda. When he starts chewing on you, we'll see how enthusiastic you'll be about doing your job."

He watched her pivot and march out of sight down the hall, the hard heels of her cowboy boots echoing on the terrazzo floor. The cop sighed long and loud. Then the routine buzz of the Intensive Care Unit resumed.

Don chuckled softly, his throat burning with the effort. Well, she's acquired some guts. Talking to a cop like that.  She was just like Livi. When she was pushed, she could rear up like a mama bear. He couldn't help feeling an unaccustomed surge of admiration for his little girl.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Come on, Livi, you can do this. I'm holding the ladder steady up here. Just don't look down."

"Don, you know how I hate climbing ladders. What's the matter with you? Why didn't you get Rick to help you with these repairs? He knows what to do and he's not afraid of heights."

"I don't need Rick up here telling me what to do. We'll waste all day arguing. Besides, while he's at Jimbo's BBQ with all the other hams, I thought it would be a good time to just get this done."

Livi snorted up at him. "Well, that was … ill advised," she paused as if choosing a non-inflammatory retort. He knew what she really wanted to say. But he was right! He didn't need to waste time repairing the repeater antenna. Just a quick replacement of a couple of parts and it would be done. Rick would've questioned everything: his choice of tools, how to use them, and why he bought used parts instead of brand new. He could hear Rick's argument now.

"Why didn't you get the new Telwave antenna? It's the best one for this application and worth the price."

"We can't afford it."

"Like hell we can. There's over ten grand in the club's account. What's your problem, you old miser?"

"My being a miser is why we have over ten grand. If you were treasurer, we'd be broke. I like to keep a good solid pad for emergencies."

"Don, this IS an emergency. That account is to pay for repeater maintenance and replacement. This is exactly the time to use that money and buy good stuff. This piece of shit will burn out in a couple of months and then we're back up here having this same damned argument."

Well, Rick, you're not up here having this same damned argument. My girl's here helping me and she's all I need. If I could just get her up here.

"C'mon, Livi, put your foot on the first rung, then the other foot on the second rung. Easy-peasy! Just do it!"

She rested her head on the ladder for a moment before she finally did as he told her. First rung, second rung, third…. The ladder vibrated with each step.

"Oh God, I can't do this!" She collapsed against the rungs, wrapping her arms around the ladder. "Don, I can't!"

"Livi, you have to. You have the tools in your backpack. I've already dragged the new parts up here. We're a team, Livi, like always. You can do this. Don't fail me now."

She shook her head then pressed away from the ladder. "Aaach! This backpack's going to pull me off the ladder." Snapping back against the rungs, she started to cry.

Don threw his hands in the air and paced around in a circle on the roof of the old fire lookout. When he returned to the top of the ladder, he yelled mercilessly at her.

"Quit your stupid wailing and get up here. Now! I don't want you wasting any more time on this silliness. You're making this harder than it really needs to be."

Slowly, she started up the ladder, pausing again to regain her equilibrium.

"Don't look down, Livi. Just turn that pretty little face of yours up here to me and you'll be fine."

Looking at him, she smiled meekly. One rung after another, she climbed until she reached where the ladder rested against the edge of the roof.

"Now what? How do I get on the roof?"

Don grasped her wrist. "I got you here. Just swing your leg around and I'll pull you around the rest of the way."

Nodding, she did as he told her. Now in his seventies, his strength had waned. Still, he was able to pull her toward him, giving her a much-needed hug against his body. She wanted to wrap her arms around him, but he peeled her away and took the backpack off her shoulders.

"That's my girl. See, you did it. Easy-peasy!"

"Yeah, easy-peasy," she blew out a long, strained breath.

As he removed the damaged parts and installed the new loop elements to the base of the antenna, he glanced at her a few times. She had walked away from him, staring over the panoramic view from this high mountain aerie. A hawk soared past them at a slightly lower altitude than the top of the lookout.

Man, what a way to make a living, Don thought as he imagined a summer of hanging out in this place. Maybe it would drive a man buggy with boredom. Then again, maybe some men were of a mind to enjoy the lack of mental stimulation that such a job would afford. Until today, he thought such people didn't have the bandwidth to think much of anything, that such jobs were perfect for people of low intellect. He couldn't imagine there being too much to the job other than looking out for smoke plumes and calculating the location. How hard could that be?

They used radios, though, to call in the coordinates to firefighters. That would be the saving grace if he had this job. Wow! Think of the propagation from this tower. No wonder we put the repeater up here.

Slowly turning in a 360-degree circle, he gazed across the wavering horizons of a dozen mountain ranges. Laid out at his feet was a topographical version of the repeater's coverage. He could pick out all the dead zones. Now he understood why the signals dropped out in the shadow of this mountain, and grew clearer only a mile further down the valley.

There were the peaks where those Summits on the Air operators could hike up with whole radio station in a backpack. After setting up on the mountaintop, they could contact people all over the place.

Overlaying this visual reality over his mental map struck him like a lightning bolt. All these years, he had experienced the world through one medium. Getting out of the ham shack and into the natural world, he used all his senses. The wind was colder up here. He smelled sage mixed with the spice of cedar and ponderosa. The dust even had a flavor as he licked it from his lips. Other than the wind, it was so quiet he could hear the blood thrumming behind his ear.

As she stood near the edge of the roof, Livi seemed to be meditating upon some deep and spiritual mantra. Seeing her there suggested another aspect to this epiphany. The undulating lines of the landscape inspired him to think about nothing, give his mind a rest from constant calculations, regulations, and decisions. He tried to empty his mind of all concerns for a minute or two.

It was difficult. Thinking of nothing was an active effort. He couldn't just slide into it. The numbers and equations that ruled his existence were so hard-wired into his brain, they wouldn't leave him alone. They kept popping up like those stupid mole heads in the pizza parlor games. 

At last, his vision blurred. He started to shut down as if he was going to sleep. Up here on this roof, that gave him a very uncomfortable feeling. Shaking his head out of its growing stupor, he called to Livi. She didn't respond and appeared to be swaying precariously close to the edge.

Cautiously, as if about to wake up a sleepwalker, he grabbed her arm. "Okay, Livi. I'm done. Let's get out of here.

She startled, shaking her head. "Oh! Gosh, I was so wrapped up in the view, I forgot where I was."

"Yeah, it's hypnotic up here, isn't it? Must be the altitude."

"Seeing that hawk soaring around made me want to join him. I wanted to spread my wings and fly."

"Well, I'm glad I grabbed your arm before you took off. Anyway, I'm hungry. I'll treat you to lunch."

"You better treat me to lunch. And not at the burger joint either. I want a proper sit-down meal."

To tease her, he pulled out the linty linings of his pockets for her to see how poor he was.

"I must say, you certainly know how to show a girl a good time."

He bent to peck her cheek, but she pushed him away and walked to the ladder. Looking down, she sagged in defeat.

"Okay, so now how do I get down from here?"