Saturday Special: My Daily Prayer

As we exit the season of the profane and irreverent, I offer this to clear the palate before our feasts of gratitude and light.

My Daily Prayer

Today's bumper sticker asked, "Do you follow Jesus this close?" Stopped there at the traffic light, it didn't take long nor much effort to answer this pious soul.

I speak His Name every single day.

It helps me release the neck held within my grasp. His Name calms the inclination to throw a utensil across the room or punch a hole in the wall. His Name has supported my ability to abide relatives, friends, and the occasional stranger, especially those with self-righteous bumper stickers.

Most of the time, I speak His Name through clenched teeth, my jaw aching from the needling of some long-past insult or the frustration that my body can no longer function as well as in my youth. His Name has prevented me from grinding my molars to dust.

Yes, I speak His Name every day, but I don't say It reverently in church as so many obviously do since I haven't stepped into a chapel in years. The sanctuary that protects me is that flash of Divine Intervention whenever I spew those two words that comfort my malevolent spirit with power and grace.

Of course, He and His devotees can always use my name whenever they are in a fit of pique. Or I could say Hell's Bells or Fiddle-dee-dee, but it just doesn’t have the same grit. No other Sacred Name gratifies more than a nice chewy Jay followed by a slurry of Esses The crunch of a CHR between the teeth twists the tongue perfectly, preparing for the explosive T. It serves me well and secures the safety of those within my reach.

So, here I am, unrepentant blasphemer, roaring His Name with a passion that I'm sure He would understand, being the benevolent Being He is. He told us all how little regard He has for those of tepid faith. So far, He hasn't seen fit to toss a lightning bolt my way, but maybe He's busy with more meaningful pursuits. We'll see what happens when I pass through the Veil into the next dimension.

It should be an exciting moment! Or not ….

P.S. I guess I could always say "Julie Christie." That has a nice ring to it. Do you think she'd mind?

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to check out the essays, stories, and poems in the Ring Around the Basin Archives.