Love Sestet
The suitors from my youth inspire a group of poems that illustrate the struggle discovering the person within before accepting that one perfect love.
Mad ferris wheels Jacques Brel calliopes We fear Then we need to come together Then we hope Then we speed through a tarantella Of wonder and mischief, Pumping words over cocktails and plays And secret trips to the City Trading smugness for our indiscretions. Then silence. We can't talk, nothing to say. You call it ennui. But it's fear … isn't it! Not the end … is it? Only a phase which lovers Fail to understand? Let it pass Like the ferris wheel rides Like the tarantellas Hold tight and wait For the wind to calm.
Oh, for a rest Just a small one Before I embark on a new love Allow me the peace to curl in prenatal care of myself then when ready for rebirth allow myself the time to break the membrane and feel the light attack my eyes …the caress of skin and cloth and hair and grass and sand… Allow me to choose the time When, like a cat, I stretch in homage to the sun, Accept, with trust, the gifts of love Or cast them off as diversions From the livelier exploration Of my own.
My eyes avoid yours Why do I fear you? It's as though contact with you Would reveal a desert corner of myself. I spend so much time alone Enjoying the one within who Remains hidden from others Finding shelter there. Other eyes don't threaten that solitude. Why does meeting your soft inquisition Fill me with such terror?
People come and go Their eyes alight Wondering what's inside of me Saddened - no, angered - When I push them away. They tried They touched all the bases. Meanwhile The object of their curiosity Curls up beside the heater Finding the friends inside literature Less demanding Less reciprocal The proper words unnecessary The occasions unobserved forgiven The duration of their friendship Just as terminal.
I'm not afraid to love you As a friend As you wish. But I never want to feel That pain when you left It's been my companion too often. Never again. I'd rather have you gone forever Than always saying Goodbye.
I dance around the room Filling the air with energy. My own energy! I force from beneath my crumpled heart A dream … a trust abandoned. I show the curtains, the plants, The pictures on the walls, That I am strong I am resilient I can recover. But what is that? Who is that? Standing in a footpath Spelling "HI" in the snow? He waves. The night hides his face, But I feel a smile. Approval. What's your name… Where do you live… On the other street… I was just walking … And saw you dancing… Lots of life going on up there… Can I come up for some tea? Oh, please…no…I… Need to be alone…. But thank you…you're very nice. I'm sure he's very nice. I'm sure he meant no harm. Imagine… He was just walking And saw me dancing….
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All my books, Paradise Ridge, When the Horses Come and Go, and Ghost in the Forest are currently available on Kindle. Ghost in the Forest, is also available in paperback. Paradise Ridge is out-of-print, but the Kindle version is re-edited and better quality.
Book Review of Ghost in the Forest:
"Ghost in The Forest' is a great read! Take note People. If you love stories about environmentalism and nature, its clash with urban mindsets, as well as personal transformation, this is the book for you!
"Ghost in The Forest" is a quick 126-page read. It's the story of Dori, a woman trapped in a mix of grief over parental loss and refusing to accept how her hometown and her friends have changed over the years. Because of this, Dori has become a recluse and a self-imposed misanthrope who finds more comfort amongst the hiking trails around her hometown of Morristown than in her dealings with the raw reality of other humans.
The book, in some ways, resembled Edward Abbey’s “Desert Solitaire” in that the story follows a protagonist's love of nature and angst about humans encroaching on it. In this case, it’s how Morristown is transforming into a mountain biking destination where cyclists run rampant on trails and nature.
However, a tragedy involving said mountain biking becomes a major pivot point for Dori, leading to a series of events that eventually bring about personal evolution and discovery.
If you're a nature lover, this book is a must-read. It beautifully portrays the clash between environmentalism and urban mindsets and the journey of personal transformation. The book's vivid descriptions of nature and the protagonist's love for it will surely intrigue you.
Paradise Ridge Review by western author D. B. Jackson:
If you draw circle roughly around an area that includes northern Nevada, southern Oregon, and southern Idaho, within that circle exists a culture and people who live a lifestyle largely untouched by modern values. These are the "buckaroos" and Basque characters author Sue Cauhape brings to life in her literary novel, "Paradise Ridge".
Leandro, the illegitimate seventh son of patriarch Xavier Arriaga and his mistress, Gisela, is at the center of this intriguing story that travels exceedingly successfully at both the personal level of the characters, as well as the compelling level where the story is told.
Cauhape writes in a literary style that reminds me of Annie Poulx. Paradise Ridge, on the surface, appears to be an upscale Western novel...once inside the pages, you will soon discover a potential classic waiting to be discovered.
I rated this book a 5...because that's all the stars there were.
The hesitation, the free fall, the journey within…such a lovely swirl of becoming. I so enjoyed reading, and feeling your poem.
"Hold tight and wait / For the wind to calm."
"…the caress of skin and cloth and hair and grass and sand…"
"I'd rather have you gone forever / Than always saying / Goodbye."
Lovely lovely lines here, Sue. I wonder, had you begun these poems at an earlier time when the memories were new? Or are the memories still fresh after these many, many years?